


In his arms

by pumpkin_pigeon



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluffy Ending, Gay, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, a lil gay, gayer epilogue, klance, what is this gay shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 04:36:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15878676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pumpkin_pigeon/pseuds/pumpkin_pigeon
Summary: After Shiro comes back from the astral plane, Lance begins to blame himself for the loss of their leader which eventually leads him into Keith's comfort."Eventually Lance began to crack, right leg slightly shaking enough where Keith could probably notice it if he was looking at Lance. He slowly slid back into himself, chest tight and breathing heavily. “Lance?” Keith questioned when he looked over at the other man, his voice sounding far away in Lance’s head but still there. Keith quickly realized what was happening, or about to happen. “Lance, can I touch you?” Keith asked, making sure to keep his voice calm and non aggressive. He had dealt with many of Shiro’s panic attacks, and even though it was a lot better to ask someone how to help them deal with panic attacks when they were in a calmer state, he knew to ask questions before doing anything that might cause even more panic. "





	In his arms

It was the first night since Shiro had gotten back and the red lion was deathly quiet. All the paladins had decided to stay on the planet they’d landed on after the Castle Ship’s destruction, all of them needed a night of relaxation and processing after everything that had happened in the day. Even Hunk was close to snapping. That led Lance to where he was, laid out on the floor of Red and attempting to sleep.   
Lance still had Red’s comforting presence in back on his mind, but it did nothing to comfort his raging thoughts. He laid wide awake on the floor behind the pilot’s seat, making a sad attempt to sleep with a thin blanket being the only thing to separate him from the cold metal. But that was the least of Lance’s worries at the moment.   
He couldn’t help but think that all of this was his fault. That was just how he was wired. He knew it sounded a bit narcissistic, like the entire world revolved around him, so he didn’t dare express it to anyone else. And there was always the fear that they would agree, and leave Lance once they’d realized the destruction he’d caused. They seemed to think he was useless enough anyway. That was only a step away from his fears. Even though Lance knew that he could’ve helped his current situation, could’ve helped Shiro, the thought of someone else telling him that was hard to handle. So he kept to himself.   
When he had seen Shiro in the astral plane, if he had just stayed a bit longer, listened a bit harder, he could’ve prevented so much from happening. So many members of their team would be so much happier and much less hurt if he had actually gotten his shit together. They would’ve had their leader back sooner.   
Lance curled into himself, arms wrapping around himself like they were someone else’s. Like there was someone else there to help him, to hold him. He let out a soft sob, tears welling up in his eyes. He felt this aching in his chest, it gripped onto his heart, squeezing it until it felt like it would burst. Breathing got harder for him, until he wasn’t exactly hyperventilating but his chest felt so tight that he felt like he was barely able to breathe.   
Lance wasn’t unfamiliar to panic attacks. He was a paladin after all, someone who had been fighting a war for about a year now and had killed hundreds, if not thousands, of people. He had innocent lives slip between his fingers because of his mistakes. He’d watched his bullets go through galra citizens who were just following orders, then saw the lifeless bodies he’d left behind. Like every other paladin, he assumed, he had nightmares and flashbacks, both that left him shocked and panicking. Yet still, throughout the past year of waking up in a cold sweat and having flashbacks at the shot of a gun that left him in tears, he didn’t know how to pull himself out of it. He just waited it out, hoping it’d just leave on it’s own.   
Usually it did, but sometimes he was left stuck by himself, immobile, shaking, a few tears managing to slip their way past his eyelids and down his reddened cheeks as he was caught in a moment of panic he couldn’t shake. But it was, somewhat, unsurprising. He’d seen some of Shiro’s panic attacks before he was hurriedly rushed away by Keith, and they seemed pretty similar to his own, so Lance just assumed it was normal for someone in his situation so he didn’t reach out for any help. And although, it wasn’t out of the normal for soldiers like Lance who had seen so much destruction to panic like he did, what Lance didn’t realize is that he should be asking for support. He had a support system at his fingertips, where if he would just let his harsh grip on himself go he would find.   
After about half an hour the crippling grip on Lance’s chest started to loosen. Lance pushed himself up, barely making it to the trash compartment inside of Red to vomit into it, chest heaving as he caught his breath. Anxiety always seemed to get to his stomach. He rested his head against the cold metal, giving himself a moment and trying not to gag at the taste of bile in his mouth. He wiped the remaining tears off his cheeks, gathering himself before getting up. He wobbled on his feet, a bit lightheaded from all the crying and his breathing issues.   
A walk around had always calmed him down. In the Castle Ship he’d always walk around the halls until he made it to the observatory where he’d look out at all the stars passing by them. They made him feel so small, but in a good way. Like he had so many issues going on with himself and there were so many issues going on in the universe, but here were these magnificent, fiery bodies that still managed to stay there consistently, despite all the chaos around and inside of him.   
But they didn’t have that anymore, so Lance just decided to take a walk around the planet. It was beautiful anyways. There were colors that resembled an earth sunset in the sky, but the very top, when Lance looked up, there was a splattering of stars.   
Lance stumbled out of Red, still shaky on his feet. He walked away from the other lions, not noticing the presence nearby. He walked near the deep cracks in the planet that seemed to just lead into a deep abyss. He followed the length of one of the cracks until it began to thin out to where he could see the bottom. It was a sandy red, just like the rest of the planet. The slightly distinguished layers of red and grey that covered the sides of the crack almost reminded him of the grand canyon back on earth.  
He’d gone once there with his family. He and all his brothers and sisters and cousins had all piled up into his aunts old mini van. They all had to squeeze together and every one was sweating all over each other but he remember they were all still so excited, not running out of enthusiasm despite the long car ride. The last time Lance was on earth, they still had a photo on the mantle of them all in front of the canyon, Lance beaming in the middle of all of his siblings, still missing one of his front teeth. He was seven at the time.   
Lance sat on the edge of the crack, letting his legs dangle over the edge as he peered down into it. He tried to focus on the layers of what he assumed was rock instead of falling back into his own head. The only positive that came with war, at least for Lance, was that he had something else to focus on besides himself and his own self involved issues. He would be constantly training or fighting or doing /something/ to stop himself from thinking or be so exhausted all he could do was sleep. He did have those rare times, though, where he spent nights to himself without being plagued with insecurities. Those nights were often spent by himself, maybe reading or trying to expand on his skin care routine.   
But other nights, despite how long he had trained that day, or spent with his friends talking his head off, he would toss and turn all night, plagued by the memories on what he could’ve done differently or the repeats of the deaths he’d seen or caused. Regardless of its subject, there was always something he could ruminate on. Sometimes on those nights he’d get up and train away his worries, take his anger at himself on the emotionless bots that would charge at him. But most nights he’d just lay there, staring up at the ceiling and drowning himself in self pity.  
Lance’s eyes tracked the layers down and down and down, trying to force back the thoughts restlessly beating at the back of his mind. His hands fidgeted with each other, long fingers pulling at each other and perfectly groomed nails breaking each other down. Lance didn’t notice the presence that sat down beside him as his eyes dragged down the cliff until a finger poked his shoulder and Lance quickly looked up, startled. Keith, of all people, sat beside him, hair a mess and bags under his eyes. Still hot though.   
“Hey, man..” Keith started, apparently still awkward after years of ‘emotional maturing’ (as Hunk told him) with his mother. “What’s up?” He said, as if trying to indirectly ask what was wrong. As blunt and oblivious Lance thought Keith could be, he knew the other man was still observant as hell.   
Lance shrugged, eyes trailing away from Keith and back to the horizon. “Just..seeing what the planet is like, y’know? We never really stop long enough to.” He offered as some sort of explanation. Lance looked back to Keith to see him nodding, faced away from Lance and looking at the horizon like Lance had. “Yeah. Looks a bit like earth.” Lance just nodded slightly in agreement, a soft ‘yeah’ leaving his lips. “Though I suppose we’ll be able to get a better comparison soon.” Keith continued, as if trying to get a response from Lance. Lance’s lips quirked up into a small smile at that. “Yeah, I’m excited to go back.” Lance said softly, knowing full well he was acting out of character, but not caring enough to try and correct it.   
Keith nodded along, eyebrows twisted together ever so slightly that there was a small crease formed between them. After a few more moments of silence he spoke up, looking directly at Lance. “Lance, talk to me. I can tell somethings wrong.” He said directly, voice firm but also soft. Lance tugged at his fingers, facing Keith but not really looking at him. “I’m fine, Keith. Just tired from everything that happened. Long day, you know?” He murmured softly, not wanting to open up any more than that, especially to Keith.   
Keith leaned forward and gently touched Lance’s shoulder, which was the closest he had come to initiating physical contact with the other in a long time. “Just, uh, just remember I’m here.” Keith said, almost like it was a question. Lance shot him a small, appreciative smile in response. “Yeah, I know.” He murmured in response, the two falling back into silence. So they sat there together, Keith eventually removing his hand from Lance’s shoulder.   
Eventually Lance began to crack, right leg slightly shaking enough where Keith could probably notice it if he was looking at Lance. He slowly slid back into himself, chest tight and breathing heavily. “Lance?” Keith questioned when he looked over at the other man, his voice sounding far away in Lance’s head but still there. Keith quickly realized what was happening, or about to happen. “Lance, can I touch you?” Keith asked, making sure to keep his voice calm and non aggressive. He had dealt with many of Shiro’s panic attacks, and even though it was a lot better to ask someone how to help them deal with panic attacks when they were in a calmer state, he knew to ask questions before doing anything that might cause even more panic.   
It took a moment for the question to process in Lance’s mind, but a few moments later he shakily nodded. He felt his mind growing even more fogged with his thoughts, making everything seem even more incomprehensible. At Lance’s answer, Keith moved forward and pulled him away from the edge of the cliff and into his arms. Despite how Keith acted, he loved being physical with people, as long as it was initiated by him or with someone he trusted. He held Lance close against his chest, his head resting on top of Lance’s. He knew there wasn’t much he could do to help Lance, at least not without Lance having told him before him. So Keith just held Lance close as the other man sobbed and shook, gently rubbing up and down his side and waiting for it to pass.   
After a short while, considerably less time then when Lance had panicked alone, Lance began to calm down. He felt like could catch his breath, and his tears began to slow to a stop. He began to be aware that he was in Keith’s arms, and his cheeks flushed from more than just his tears. Keith noticed that Lance had began to calm down, feeling a rush of relief flood through him. “Hey.” He murmured softly, hand still gently rubbing up and down Lance’s side. “Feeling better.” He asked.  
Lance nodded jerkily, embarrassed to be in Keith’s arms but not moving. “Yeah, sorry for, uh, all of this, I just-” He started before Keith interrupted him. “Don’t be sorry, I get it, really. And you don’t have to explain yourself. Unless it’d help.” Keith said firmly, voice softening as he continued to speak. Lance shook his head, relaxing back into Keith’s arms. He knew at some point he’d probably tell Keith some of what was going, but he didn’t feel like now was the right time. He needed need to talk about what was going on with him right then anyways. Just knowing Keith was there to support him was enough for that moment.   
“Seems like you’re enjoying your spot right there, huh?” Keith teased a few moments later, a small chuckle falling from his lips. Lance gently hit Keith’s chest, laughing as well. “Shut up.” He muttered, smiling down at his thighs. A moment later he spoke up again, looking more serious this time. “Seriously though, I can move if you want me to. I know I’m heavy.” Lance said with an anxious chuckle, looking up to Keith. “No, you’re fine as you are.” Keith said, nose a bit redder than usual, but other then that looking like his usual stoic self. “Okay.” Lance murmured, cuddling further into Keith’s chest.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this isn't amazingly fluffy, but if y'all want I can add on a fluffy epilogue of Lance falling asleep in Keith's arms and whatever happens after that ;)
> 
> This is my first fanfiction and I apologize if it's short and if the boys are a bit out of character. I'm always open to constructive criticism!  
> Anyways thank you for reading, and I hope you have a good day :)


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